The Craziest Thing I Have Ever Seen in My Entire Life

Well maybe not in my entire life but at least in the last couple hours. You see, I was absentmindedly flipping through my wife's Women's Health magazine (yes, I was looking through it, so kill me. It was sitting on the couch and I opened it and glanced at a couple of pages. I don't make a habit of it.) and I came upon an article about haircuts and whether or not you could tell the difference between expensive haircuts (like around $145) and cheap haircuts (like around $100). Now this isn't the point of the story, but let me just pause and say that I've started going to a place for my own haircuts that I deem "expensive.". My haircuts are $20! A piece!
Anyway, in said story was a sidebar explaining the always confusing subject of tipping. Now I agree that tipping is indeed an art and one in which I am always confused. Again not part of the story but does it drive anyone else crazy that places that you would normally not even think about tipping now have the "tip" and "total" lines when using a debit or credit card? Like PT's Grill and Flaming Amy's. I normally didn't tip and didn't think anything of it but now I'm forced to either start tipping or stare at the big fat zero I write and feel like a cheap jerk. Thanks guys.
Ok, back to the point of the post. The craziest thing I've ever seen in my entire life that happened in the last couple of hours. Here's how you're supposed to tip if you're a girl and you get a haircut (that you'll pretend to absolutely hate for a week and a half):
Your stylist - 15-20% of service.
Your colorist - 15-20% of service.
Stylist's assistant (huh?*) - $10-20(**).
Shampooer - $3-5.
Blow-out Person (for real?) - $10
Coat-check Girl - $1.

Seriously, that's what it says. You should be tipping somewhere between $50 and $100 dollars. Each time! I will barely tip that much this decade! What is the deal with women and haircuts? A blow-out girl? All I can say is thank God I'm a boy.

* What exactly does a stylist's assistant do? Hold the comb? Hold up the mirror so you can see the back of your head? And you gotta pay her $20 for that?

** And if you're paying the assistant $20 then I'd assume you're paying the actual stylist twice that. Unbelievable.